Bolster Credibility with Investors – Avoid These Phrases in Your Business Plan


Remember Papa John’s TV commercial with the slogan “Better Ingredients, Better Pizza”? Well, it’s just boasting: general, unprovable, stupid claims. The problem is that boasting is not only acceptable, it is often expected. Terms like “biggest”, “best”, “cheapest”, etc. are so overused that most people just ignore them. bold claims that do nothing to market your business.

These superficial claims do not help an investor decide whether your company is truly different from the other companies they are evaluating. To rule out blanket, unprovable, stupid claims, you need a simple, simple sensor. And here it is: Every time you make a claim in your business plan, ask yourself this question: “Would investors really believe that?” Take, for example, a business plan for a car dealership that includes these claims:

“We have the largest selection of Ford cars and trucks in town.” We are the top selling Ford dealership in the South West. “We sell more Fords than anyone else in the state. Seasoned investors have read a lot about this kind of hollow bluster in business plans. They’ve gotten to the point of expecting entrepreneurs and business owners who are looking for money to say something to try and impress them.

In fact, one of the great pioneers of action-oriented advertising, Claude Hopkins (Tested Advertising Methods:, used this analogy to describe the use of common terms that are not provable, silly Claims in advertising and I found it equally applicable to writing business plans: “Platitudes and platitudes slip from human understanding like water off a duck’s back. They make no impression.
The same?” /p>

I bet they are. And if you believe Mr. Hopkins, such statements slip off human understanding like water off a duck’s back. You make no impression. I don’t know about you, but when I spend my money and time writing a business plan to raise capital for my business, I want it to make a good impression!

Here are some other examples I’ve seen in business plans. A commercial real estate company says, “We go the extra mile for our clients.” It’s boasting. How about this wonderful statement about the competitive advantages of a consulting firm… “knowledge”.

Experience.Determination”. That’s it. That’s the first line! That’s your big “hook” to get investors to part with their money and support the company’s business plan.

Better not to mention competitive advantage.